Opposites React & Being Gentle - Chukas 5771

Of course the Sod of the Parah Aduma has to do with the fact that it is somehow Metamei Tehorim Umitaheir Temai’im. The Parah Aduma has the unique ability to make a Tamei Meis be Tahor but at the same time a Tahor person who touches it becomes Tamei. This is a secret which Chazal say that even Shlomo Hamelech could not understand. He could not figure it out.
Naturally, when an Acharon comes and figures it out we are quite suspicious because if Shlomo Hamelech couldn’t understand it and you are coming up with an explanation then obviously there is something wrong with your explanation.
The Klei Yakar in this week’s Parsha explains Metamei Tehorim Umitaheir Temai’im in a way that explains the mystery of this unique idea regarding the Parah Aduma. The Klei Yakar writes that there is something totally unique about the Parah Aduma, but it touches on one of the secrets of the Briya, something that is consistent in the nature of Hashem’s world.
That in the words of the Klei Yakar is that in the world, things are moved by their opposites. ("שכל דבר אינו מתפעל כ"א מהפכו ולא ממה שהוא ממינו") Shekol Davar Aino Mispa'al Ki Im Mai'hafocho V'lo Mimah Shehu Mimino. Things are moved by their opposites and not by similarities. What does that mean? On a simple level we would say that opposites attract. What he is saying is that for example, the Yeitzer Horah does not look to deal primarily with Reshaim.
The Yeitzer Horah looks to mislead primarily Tzaddikim, so that the Yeitzer Hora works more on Klal Yisrael than the Umos Haolam and more on Tamidei Chachamim than on anyone else.
We too are that way, Ein Adam Omeid Al Dvar Halacha Ela Im Kain Nichshal Bo. A person who is Nichshal in an Aveira and realizes it will then be able to remember the Dvar Halacha. You might forget a Halacha, however, if you make a mistake and subsequently you correct your mistake, you will be stronger than if you hadn’t made the mistake in the first place.
So too in many of the areas of nature, Shekol Davar Aino Mispa'al Ki Im Mai'hafocho V'lo Mimah Shehu Mimino. Things are moved to action from things that are the reverse of it rather than things that are similar in and of themselves.
The Klei Yakar refers to something that he says at the end of Parshas Shemos, that before something disappears it has its greatest strength. In other words, before a flame of a candle goes out, you will notice that it sparks up and it has a very bright light at the last minute. It is said that before the morning is the darkest part of the night. Somehow darkness is Misgabeir right before it disappears. Why, Shekol Davar Aino Mispa'al Ki Im Mai'hafocho V'lo Mimah Shehu Mimino Dafka. It is the nature of things to be moved by their opposites. If something is bent in one direction and you want to straighten it out you have to bend it in the opposite direction. That is a secret of the Teva Habriya.
The Parah Aduma is therefore Metamei Tehorim, when it touches something it becomes the opposite (Mispa’el). A Tahor becomes Tamei and a Tamei becomes Tahor. This is all part of the mystery of Shlomo Hamelech. It is not the way we would logically think the world would work. It is however the way the world does work. 
A parent is often closest to a child who when growing up gave him a hard time, gave him Agmas Nefesh growing up rather than to a child that was easy. Shekol Davar Aino Mispa'al Ki Im Mai'hafocho V'lo Mimah Shehu Mimino.
What is interesting in Bain Adam L’chaveiro, perhaps in Bain Adam L’ishto, is that human beings, human nature, interaction with other human beings is the same way. If you are tough with someone that person may back down temporarily for a moment, but in fact the person really doesn’t back down. The person is really distanced from you. In the long run, being soft to people is more successful than being tough. That is the nature of a person. If you insist on doing things a certain way and it is a debatable topic, things might be able to be done in a reverse way, the person listening will think maybe the other way.  Or let us say for example that you have a child who slept through Shacharis, if you say to him you always oversleep Shacharis, his reaction to the tough talk will be “I always” how can you say that? The fact that he did indeed sleep through Shacharis 10 days in a row isn’t the point. He doesn’t always do it. The tough talks evokes a reverse reaction.
This is a very important lesson from this Kli Yakar. Shekol Davar, everything, is Mispa'al, moved to action, Mai'hafocho V'lo Mimah Shehu Mimino., from its reverse not necessarily from which you would expect.
The lesson that I am taking out is from this Nikuda. That a person should be soft and not tough.
Later on in this week’s Parsha we find the Cheit of Moshe. Moshe Rabbeinu at Mei Miriva does some sort of an Aveira. It is very hotly debated. What is the Aveira? Rishonim bring numerous Peshatim and reject them. Certainly Moshe Rabbeinu’s sin is not something that is easily understood by people on our level.
The Cheit of Moshe Rabbeinu according to Rashi is that Moshe hit the stone. To this the Ramban says that he doesn’t understand. What is the difference to a stone if you hit it or you talk to it? He also asks that Moshe Rabbeinu was told Kach Es Hamate, take the stick.
That should be understood to mean to take as hit the stone just as we found during the Makkos when Moshe Rabbeinu was told Kach Es Hamate, he did a physical act with the Mate. Therefore, this Rashi needs a Hesber.
I saw an incredible Vort from Rav Yonasan Eibishutz who explains as follows. He says the idea that Moshe Rabbeinu should have spoken before he hit has nothing to do with the rock itself. It has to do with Moshe Rabbeinu’s own Middos as a Manhig Yisroel as a leader of Klal Yisrael. It is a rule in life, before you hit, speak. Before you are tough be soft. Before you do things with a tremendous push, do them with a gentle push. This is very much the lesson of the Mei Miriva according to this Pshat and therefore, there is no difference to the stone if you hit it or talk to it, however, to Moshe Rabbeinu the Manhig Yisroel should have understood to talk and only later to hit.
Again, a lesson, in life when you have choices, be soft and don’t be tough. When you are tough you alienate the people close to you. When you are soft you might lose the battle but at the end of the day you will win the war. An important lesson in dealing with other people.

Chinuch For Nezirus - Naso 5772

(האיש מדיר את בנו בנזיר). A man can make his son a Nazir. The Gemara says on the top line of 29a (אמר ריש לקיש כדי לחנכו במצות) this is to train him in doing Mitzvos. This idea is a Pliya as I guess you will all appreciate and understand that a man is Mechaneich his son to be a Nazir. What does that mean? What in the world is that supposed to mean? A person doesn’t need Chinuch to be a Nazir. A child will never be a Nazir unless he makes himself a Nazir.

The Maritz Chiyus in Nazir 29 asks this Kasha. What’s Shayich in a Mitzvah that will likely never happen to the child and he certainly never has to do? I would ask a second Kasha. We have a rule Ain Chinuch L’Aveilos there is no obligation to be Mechaneich a child in being an Avel in practicing Aveilos because Aveilos is Lo Shichichi. One of the reason given by Rishonim is it is not a common thing that occurs. Nezirus is certainly less common (Shichiach). Tzorech Iyun Gadol?

In the Keren Orah on Nazir 29 he says a beautiful Pshat. It very much ties to what we spoke about earlier. He says we are not Mechaneich a child to be a Nazir, we don’t anticipate that he will be a Nazir. However, we are Mechaneich a child in Perishus. In being able to push away his physical needs and physical desires in order to follow the commandments of the Torah. Nezirus is an example of that Chinuch, however, it is an extreme example. The idea that we are Mechaneich a child is this idea of being  Mecheneich a child to understand this very basic very fundamental idea of being a Porush. Therefore, this makes a lot of sense that we have to be Mechaneich our children in Perishus. This is something that we in our generation have not succeeded in doing. We want the best for our children and we tend to follow our natural inclination to give them everything they want. To give them nice clothing, fancy clothing, even when they don’t need it. They are 3, 4, 5 years old and we tend to dress our children beautifully. For what? We dress them like dollies, what are we doing?

We are being Mechaneich them the reverse of a Nazir. We are Mechaneich them to need more and more and more. The message of the Nazir is that we should be Mechaneich our children from early on and teach them not to need more, not to need extra, not to need things that are really not required. For that reason it would be very good if we would take the lesson of Nazir to heart. Especially this lesson of Nazir.  

Chametz In The Todah - Tzav 5770

The Korban Todah is the only Korban a Yachid can bring that has Chomeitz in it. There is actually a Lav in the beginning of this week’s Parsha against bringing a Korban that has Chomeitz in it. What is the significance of the Chomeitz in the Korban Todah and why is it the only Korban that has Chomeitz in it?

As we approach Pesach we know that Chomeitz is a sign of the Yeitzer Horah. A sign of things that are not good and are not spiritual. Chomeitz is Matzah with hot air in it, a lot of nothing. Therefore, it is a sign of something negative. A Korban Todah is brought after a person was saved from a difficulty as thanksgiving to the Ribboinoi Shel Oilam. A person does not bring a Korban Todah after something good happens to him. If you win the lottery you do not bring this Korban. It is only when you have a Sakana and are saved from it that you bring the Korban Todah. Therefore, Rav Zevin explains the idea of the Chomeitz in the Korban Todah is precisely this, every time a difficulty falls on a person, and a person is faced with a danger and is ultimately saved, you bring a Korban Todah that has Chomeitz and Matzah. You are recognizing that there was Chomeitz, or Aveiros that brought the something negative, and that you were saved. The Korban Todah is the recognition of the Chomeitz and the Matzah of the experience.

As a matter of fact today instead of the Korban Todah we say the Brocha of Hagoimel which says Hagoimel L’chayavim Toivois. We recognize that there was something lacking in us that brought about this Sakanah.

The Har Tzvi, Rav Tzvi Pesach Frank says this is the reason that the custom is that after a woman gives birth she does not say Birchas Hagoimel. It would seem that she should say Birchas Hagoimel as childbirth is deemed a Sakanah?

The Har Tzvi explains, a Korban Todah is brought only for Chayavim Toivois, that a person came into a Sakanah only because of an Aveira, however, a woman who gave birth it is a Mitzvah and not an Aveira that brought her into Sakanah. It is a Mitzvah to have children. So a woman can’t say Hagoimel L’chayavim Toivois because they are not Chayavim.

With this a second question is answered. The Minhag is that Ketanim don’t Bentch Goimel. Every other Beracha we are Mechaneich children to say so why is Birchas Hagoimel different? The simple answer is that our custom is to Bentch Goimel after an Aliyah which a Kattan does not have. However, the Halacha is that you don’t need an Aliyah according to everyone in order to Bentch Goimel. Rav Tzvi Pesach Frank explains that Hagoimel L’chayavim Toivois, and since a Kattan can never be considered Chayav he doesn’t get punishment for those things that he did. If he came into a Sakana it wasn’t because of Chayavim Toivois and therefore the language of the Beracha is totally inappropriate for a Kattan so he wouldn’t Bentch Goimel.

So the explanation of this unique Korban the Korban Todah that has Chomeitz fits well with the concept of Chag HaPesach, the idea that Chomeitz represents negativity or a failing in Avoidas Hashem.