How To Talk To A Father - Toldos 5772

We find that both Yaakov and Eisav talk to their father. We all know that the Derech Eretz of talking to a great person is in 3^rd person. Not you but my father or the Rosh Yeshiva. It seems very strange, when Yaakov talks to his father he talks in second person 27:19 (קוּם-נָא שְׁבָה, וְאָכְלָה מִצֵּידִי--בַּעֲבוּר, תְּבָרְכַנִּי נַפְשֶׁךָ). He speaks to him in second person. Incredibly later when Eisav walks in to his father he says 27:31 (יָקֻם אָבִי וְיֹאכַל מִצֵּיד בְּנוֹ--בַּעֲבֻר, תְּבָרְכַנִּי נַפְשֶׁךָ). He says my father should get up and he doesn’t say you and he should eat from the food that his son has prepared. His son and not your son. Eisav talks in third person and Yaakov talks in second person.

Yitzchok's Plan - Toldos 5772

Rav Pam used to relate that when his grandmother took her son (Rav Pam’s father) to the tailor to get a suit for his wedding the tailor gave a Beracha to the Choson that he should be a wealthy man and he shouldn’t have to worry about Parnasa. Rav Pam’s grandmother got angry at him, that is the Beracha for a Choson? Give him a Beracha that he should be a Talmid Chochom, that he should have Cheishek to learn, that he should be like (כְּאֶפְרַיִם וְכִמְנַשֶּׁה).

That is an idea with which we can all relate. My question then was what is with this Beracha from Yitzchok. 27:28 (וְיִתֶּן-לְךָ, הָאֱלֹרים, מִטַּל הַשָּׁמַיִם, וּמִשְׁמַנֵּי הָאָרֶץ--וְרֹב דָּגָן, וְתִירֹשׁ). You should be a wealthy man. 27:29 (יַעַבְדוּךָ עַמִּים, וישתחו (וְיִשְׁתַּחֲווּ) לְךָ לְאֻמִּים--הֱוֵה גְבִיר לְאַחֶיךָ, וְיִשְׁתַּחֲווּ לְךָ בְּנֵי אִמֶּךָ; אֹרְרֶיךָ אָרוּר, וּמְבָרְכֶיךָ בָּרוּךְ). You should control people, people who get along with you should be blessed and those that don’t should be cursed. No smattering of anything Ruchniyos. It is a Davar Pele.

Subsequently, I saw in a number of Achronim who explain Yitzchok Avinu’s mistake and why Yitzchok wanted to give a Beracha to Eisav. What was Yitzchok thinking? Was he fooled so badly?

Many including the Malbim here on the page and Rav Moshe in the second Darash Moshe among others explain that the plan of Yitzchok was that Eisav would be the Zevulan, he would be the one who supports Torah and Yaakov would be the one who learns. His hope was that Eisav would be Kone Olam Haba that way by being the Zevulan, the supporter. 

Once we hear that, then everything is beautiful. Here Yitzchok thinks that he is giving a Beracha to Eisav. If he thinks that is giving a Beracha to Eisav so of course he gives him a Beracha that has to do with (מִטַּל הַשָּׁמַיִם, וּמִשְׁמַנֵּי הָאָרֶץ). After all he is the one who is going to have the Gashmios and be able to support his brother.

Indeed later towards the end of the Parsha we find that when Yaakov takes leave of his father and he is heading out to find his Shidduch so there we do find that the (וְיִתֶּן-לְךָ) that Yitzchok says to Yaakov is 28:4 (וְיִתֶּן-לְךָ אֶת-בִּרְכַּת אַבְרָהָם, לְךָ וּלְזַרְעֲךָ אִתָּךְ). He does give a similar Beracha like (יְשִׂמְךָ אֱלֹקים כְּאֶפְרַיִם וְכִמְנַשֶּׁה), well not (אֶפְרַיִם and  מְנַשֶּׁה) because they weren’t born yet but that he should be like Avrohom for generations. (לְרִשְׁתְּךָ אֶת-אֶרֶץ מְגֻרֶיךָ, אֲשֶׁר-נָתַן אֱלֹקים לְאַבְרָהָם) he should have a Cheilek in Eretz Yisrael which is of course spiritual. So here we do find that when he knew that it was Yaakov he gave him a Beracha of Ruchniyos. How Geshmak.

Rav Moshe adds that this also explains why Eisav said to his father 27:36 (הֲלֹא-אָצַלְתָּ לִּי בְּרָכָה) it can’t be that you have no Beracha left, it can’t possibly be. I know that your plan was to give me only the Gashmiyosdika Bracha and the Ruchniyus Bracha would be for my brother. So it must be that there is Beracha left. How can you tell me that there is nothing left? The response of Yitzchok was that is not for you.

Slow & Steady - Toldos 5772

26:13 (וַיִּגְדַּל, הָאִישׁ; וַיֵּלֶךְ הָלוֹךְ וְגָדֵל, עַד כִּי-גָדַל מְאֹד). We are told about Yitzchok that he became wealthy as the next Posuk says (וַיְהִי-לוֹ מִקְנֵה-צֹאן וּמִקְנֵה בָקָר, וַעֲבֻדָּה רַבָּה; וַיְקַנְאוּ אֹתוֹ, פְּלִשְׁתִּים). What exactly does it mean (וַיִּגְדַּל, הָאִישׁ) that the man became big, big I assume in terms of his wealth. (וַיֵּלֶךְ הָלוֹךְ וְגָדֵל), and he went going getting bigger, (עַד כִּי-גָדַל מְאֹד). Certainly there has to be some sort of message here.

The Tosafos Beracha applies a Yesod which we learned once before (Ed. Note  - Noach 5772 – Ayin Sham). We discussed it regarding M’at M’at Agarshenu Min Ha’aretz, the idea that when Klal Yisrael entered Eretz Yisrael in the time of Yehoshua they were told beforehand that they would not conquer the land in one shot. That they would slowly conquer the land over time. Even the 7 years of Kibush was not a complete Kibush and it had to continue later. M’at M’at Agarshenu, things that are permanent come slowly. Things that come quickly leave quickly, that is the nature of Olam Hazeh. Therefore, Hakadosh Baruch Hu M’at M’at Agarshenu Min Ha’aretz.

The Tosafos Beracha here says the same idea. He says that the Posuk is telling us that there was permanence and Hatzlacha to the acquisitions of Yitzchok. (וַיִּגְדַּל, הָאִישׁ), he became wealthy, not suddenly, (וַיֵּלֶךְ הָלוֹךְ וְגָדֵל, עַד כִּי-גָדַל מְאֹד), it was a gradual increase in his wealth and that has a permanence. In addition, he points out that we find the same language by Mordechai in Esther 9:4 (כִּי-הָאִישׁ מָרְדֳּכַי, הוֹלֵךְ וְגָדוֹל) which was also that gradually he became wealthy.

With this he also explains later in the Parsha 27:28 (וְיִתֶּן-לְךָ, הָאֱלֹרים, מִטַּל הַשָּׁמַיִם, וּמִשְׁמַנֵּי הָאָרֶץ--וְרֹב דָּגָן, וְתִירֹשׁ). When Yitzchok gives his blessing to Yaakov he begins with (וְיִתֶּן). The Vav means and. You don’t usually begin a sentence with and. What is the meaning of the Vav? The Medrash says the meaning of (וְיִתֶּן-לְךָ, הָאֱלֹרים) that Yitzchok was blessing his child, Hashem should give you, Yitein V’yachzar V’yitein. Meaning he should give and give and give again. The idea is the same, Hakadosh Baruch Hu shouldn’t get it in one shot you should get it in a gradual way.

We all know that when someone wins the lottery a person has a choice of a single large payout or to get his money paid out over time. Human beings can’t resist and I doubt that there are more than a handful of cases where a person took a gradual payout. People take single large payouts. Yet, the history of lottery winners is there is no permanence to their wealth, gradually everything disappears. It comes quickly and it goes in what is typically a quicker period of time. However, the Hatzlacha (the good fortune) that a person would have is when things come in a steady way and in a continuous basis.

Nachala Mivuheles Barishona Gam Acharisa Lo Sivareich. Shlomo Hamelech tells us Nachala Mivuheles Barishona, a Nachala which comes with confusion in the beginning, Gam Acharisa Lo Sivareich in the end will not be a blessed ending. Things should come gradually the way they are supposed to come. That is the way we work on things overall. To have a gradual step by step Hatzlacha in the things we do.

Whose Food Was It? - Toldos 5772

The Maharit had a Shaila about a young man who was a guest in someone’s home and during the course of the meal he and the host’s daughter decided that they wanted to marry. The young man took some food from the table and gave it to the daughter Mitoras Kiddushin. Harei At Mikudeshes B’apple Zu or whatever the food was. The Teshuvas Maharit deals with the question based on a Ran in Maseches Nedarim, as to whether a guest owns the food that he is served or whether the food belongs to the host and the guest only has a right to eat it. It is a question of ownership. You have to own something in order to give it to be Mekadaish an Isha or to do any Kinyan for that matter. This is a discussion in the Maharit based on the Ran in middle of Maseches Nedarim.

With that background we turn to the beginning of the Parsha. We know that Yaakov Avinu was a (25:27) (וְיַעֲקֹב אִישׁ תָּם, יֹשֵׁב אֹהָלִים) Yoshev Ohalim, he had no Parnasah of his own, he ate at his father’s home. Yet we find here that Yaakov Avinu does a sale 25:31 (וַיֹּאמֶר, יַעֲקֹב: מִכְרָה כַיּוֹם אֶת-בְּכֹרָתְךָ, לִי). Yaakov takes food which presumably belongs to Yitzchok and Rivka to purchase something. I know that his father was not Makpid that he took the food to eat it himself or to give it to his brother. But to do a sale, a person has to have ownership in the object that he is using to do the Kinyan. (מִכְרָה כַיּוֹם אֶת-בְּכֹרָתְךָ, לִי), how could Yaakov do a Mechira with food that was not his? This would be a Raya to the Shaila of the Maharit that a person does own the food that he takes to eat. 

Rav Druk in his Sefer on Beraishis answers the question even though he doesn’t ask it. He brings B’sheim the Chasam Sofer that it was B’diyuk Gadol that this took place here on the day when Avrohom Avinu died. 25:29 (וַיָּזֶד יַעֲקֹב, נָזִיד) Yaakov was cooking food, what was he cooking and for what purpose was it? As Rashi explains in the next Posuk 25:30 (מן האדם האדם: עדשים אדומות, ואותו היום מת אברהם).  He was cooking Adashim Adumos, red lentils. Why was he cooking red lentils? On that day Avrohom Avinu had passed away and the Minhag of the Aveilim is to eat lentils when they return after the Kevura the first meal that they eat. The Halacha is that the first meal that the Aveil eats what is called the Seudos Havraa is not allowed to be his own food it has to someone else’s food which is given to him. On this day Yitzchok Avinu needed Yaakov Avinu to own food so that he would be able to provide food for the Seudas Havraa for Yitzchok Avinu. Therefore, Yitzchok was Makne (transferred ownership) to Yaakov of the food or the money with which Yaakov went and bought the food. Either way, this was a unique moment in that it was a moment that Yitzchok could not own the food. Yaakov was cooking food that had to be his. And what do you know, just then Eisav walks up (וְהוּא עָיֵף) and he is able to do the sale. This answers a question of how he was able to do the sale, because this food uniquely was his.

The point that Rav Druk makes of course is the Hashgacha Protis that took place. The tremendous Hashgacha that here Yaakov was a (יֹשֵׁב אֹהָלִים), he had no money, no investments, and no Parnasa so how would he ever buy the Bechora? The one opportunity that presented itself so that he could own something happened at precisely this moment and Hakadosh Baruch Hu prepared for him just at this moment that the sale would take place.

Do Christians Need A Bris? - Toldos 5771

We know that not only the Bnei Yishmael but also the B’nei Ketura are obligated in the Mitzvah of Milah. Even though we are told 21:12 (כִּי בְיִצְחָק, יִקָּרֵא לְךָ זָרַע), that the descendents are Yitzchok, still technically Avraham was obligated in Milah and all his descendents including the B’nei Ketura are obligated in Bris Milah because it is a technical thing that it is continued down.  I don’t understand, why does the Rambam say that the B’nei Ketura are obligated in Milah, why is B’nei Eisav not obligated in Milah? Eisav is also technically a descendent from Avraham Avinu so why wouldn’t they be obligated in Milah?

Was Eisav'e Food Kosher? - Toldos 5771

We know that Yitzchok sent Eisav to bring him food. The Halacha is that a Mumar for Avodah Zorah is not trustworthy. How could he trust a Rasha to bring food to him? All the Meforshim say that Yitzchok knew that Eisav was not a Tzaddik. The question is how can he have such a Ne’emanus?

I would like to suggest an answer based on an Igros Moshe Yoreh Dai’a Teshuva 54 which is a Yesodosdika Teshuva. This is a Teshuva that came to me in a very interesting way.

There were many cases in Russia before Rav Moshe left, that the children were communists and the parents were Frum. Rav Moshe was asked by one of these elderly couples, whether they can trust their communist children in matters of Kashrus. The question was posed as follows. The children are not religious and they do not believe in G-d. However, the parents know that the Kibbud Av is wonderful and that they would never do anything that went against the interest of the parents. They knew from experience that the children who do not care about Kashrus are careful about Kashrus for their parents. Still the Shulchan Aruch says that they are not trustworthy. What to do?

Rav Moshe says a Chiddush. He says the question of trustworthiness is only when there is a Sofeik to a person about a fact.  If a person knows something and has a Yidia that doesn’t enter into the question of Ne’emanus. Rav Moshe brings a beautiful Mekor from a Gemara in Maseches Kesuvos Daf 85a  ההיא איתתא דאיחייבא שבועה בי דינא דרבא אמרה ליה בת רב חסדא ידענא בה דחשודה אשבועה אפכה רבא לשבועה אשכנגדה זימנין הוו יתבי קמיה רב פפא ורב אדא בר מתנא אייתו ההוא שטרא גביה א"ל רב פפא ידענא ביה דשטרא פריעא הוא א"ל איכא איניש אחרינא בהדי' דמר א"ל לא א"ל אע"ג דאיכא מר עד אחד לאו כלום הוא א"ל רב אדא בר מתנא ולא יהא רב פפא כבת רב חסדא בת רב חסדא קים לי בגווה מר לא קים לי בגוויה.  

The Gemara tells us that Rava was doing a Din Torah and his Psak in the Din Torah was that one side would have to swear. Rava’s wife who the Gemara refers to as Bas Rav Chisda, came and said don’t let that man swear because he is a liar. Rava then went back to the Din Torah and said this man can’t swear because he is not trustworthy, we will let the other side swear and if he does swear he will win the Din Torah. Rava changed it because of his wife.

Later in the Gemara a similar incident happens and Rava is ready to give a Psak when Rav Pappa a contemporary of Rava tells him that the person is not trustworthy. Rava says to Rav Pappa you are one witness and one witness is not believed. The Gemara then asks, Rav Pappa is not even treated like Bas Rav Chisda? When it came to Rav Pappa who was trustworthy by reputation why did he not change the Psak?

Rav Pappa is no more worthy than any Eid Echad (one witness). His wife he really knew. When you have a Yidia B’rura you don’t have a question of Ne’emanus. So here where Rav Moshe was asked by the Frum parents in Russia if they could trust their children who were communists, the answer is if you know than it is not an issue of Ne’emanus.

We had a Shaila many years ago of parents who came from Russia who had children who were living at home. At that time they asked the Shaila can they trust their parents for Kashrus. Their parents were trustworthy people but not for Kashrus. According to the Shulchan Aruch they are not Ne’emanim.

At that time, I asked Rav Belsky the question and he showed me the Teshuva. He remarked that a generation before it was the other way around and the parents were Frum and the children were not Frum. The question was can the parents trust the children. Rav Moshe said this Chiddush. A generation later, it was the parents who were not Shomer Shabbos and it was the children who were Frum. It was the same Psak. It would be incredible in Shamayim if somehow these people who live in Brooklyn now, are the descendents of the original Shoalim who asked Rav Moshe in Russia.

Why Yitzchok Enjoyed Eisav's Cooking - Toldos 5771

25:28 (וַיֶּאֱהַב יִצְחָק אֶת-עֵשָׂו, כִּי-צַיִד בְּפִיו; וְרִבְקָה, אֹהֶבֶת אֶת-יַעֲקֹב) There is this idea that Yitzchok loved Eisav because he fed him and we understand that Yitzchok was not missing food because he was a wealthy man and he would not love someone just because he gave him to eat.

Rav Schwab says that Yitzchok Avinu (greater than any of the Gedolim that we ever met), had pleasure from the food according to the Kedusha of the food. When he ate the food that Eisav brought him Bik’dusha. The Kiddusha came from the excellent way in which Eisav did Kibbud Av V’aim. Chazal tell us that Eisav was truly excellent at Kibbud Av V’aim. Therefore, the food he brought him and specifically prepared for Yitzchok had a special Kiddusha.

That explains why Yitzchok told Eisav bring me food and go hunt down the animal. Why did Eisav have to go hunt down the animal and start the process from scratch? Why didn’t Eisav just prepare meat that was already in Yitzchok’s house?

The answer is, everything was done with the Maaseh of Kibbud Av V’aim. Everything was done to give Kiddusha to the food. That is what is meant by (וַיֶּאֱהַב יִצְחָק אֶת-עֵשָׂו, כִּי-צַיִד בְּפִיו).

Rav Schwab goes on to explain that when Yaakov complained to his mother Rivka when she told him to impersonate Eisav in 27:12 (אוּלַי יְמֻשֵּׁנִי אָבִי, וְהָיִיתִי בְעֵינָיו כִּמְתַעְתֵּעַ) what was Yaakov afraid of? He was afraid that the food he brought would be lacking that Kiddusha of Kibbud Av V’aim. After all Yaakov was going against his father’s will by fooling him. His father would catch him.  Rivka answers that 27:13 (עָלַי קִלְלָתְךָ בְּנִי) and then she says (אַךְ שְׁמַע בְּקֹלִי, וְלֵךְ קַח-לִי). She is saying you do this L’sheim Mitzvas Kibbud Aim. Kibbud Av and Kibbud Aim have the same Makar Hakkidusha. Certainly for Yaakov to do something so against his personality of Emes just because Rivka told him to do so, that was an extreme exhibition of Kibbud Aim. That is why she said (אַךְ שְׁמַע בְּקֹלִי, וְלֵךְ קַח-לִי). Since the Kibbbud Av V’aim is there, it will be that you will have a sense of Kibbud Aim.

A third Nikuda is added, when Yitzchok had the 27:33 (וַיֶּחֱרַד יִצְחָק חֲרָדָה, גְּדֹלָה עַד-מְאֹד). When Yitzchok realized the truth and he trembled, what was his great fear?

Yitzchok realized that what Yaakov did was an exhibition of Kibbud Av V’aim and that Yaakov was indeed right and he did sense the Kedusha there. Yitzchok immediately says (גַּם-בָּרוּךְ, יִהְיֶה) he will be blessed.

Maybe that helps us understand why there is a custom that when someone has a Yahrtzeit for a parent he brings in food to Shul and B’rachos are made as a Tikkun. The primary reason is that people make B’rachos L’ilui Nishmas the Neshama. It could be that there too if the person is bringing food as a  Kibbud Av V’aim, bringing that food as an honor to a father or mother itself gives Kiddusha to the food. Perhaps that is the added Kavana bringing food physically for the Yahrtzeit of a parent.

Renaming The City - Toldos 5770

We have an incident in which Avimelech gets into a squabble with Yitzchok.  After this, Avimelech and Fichol come together to make Shaloim with Yitzchok. It says they made it a Bris between them in 26:33, (וַיִּקְרָא אֹתָהּ, שִׁבְעָה; עַל-כֵּן שֵׁם-הָעִיר בְּאֵר שֶׁבַע, עַד הַיּוֹם הַזֶּה)  Meaning, He named it Shiva, therefore the city is called Be’er Sheva until this very day. Pashut Pshat in the Posuk is that it was named after the 7th Be’er. Rashi says, (שבעה: על שם הברית) At any rate it is difficult. It already says earlier in 26:23 that (וַיַּעַל מִשָּׁם, בְּאֵר שָׁבַע) That Yitzchok went to Be’er Sheva. In Parshas Vayeira 21:31 we already have that Avraham named it Be’er Sheva (עַל-כֵּן, קָרָא לַמָּקוֹם הַהוּא--בְּאֵר שָׁבַע:  כִּי שָׁם נִשְׁבְּעוּ, שְׁנֵיהֶם). Al Pi Pshat it is very difficult to understand. The Meshech Chochmah and Netziv both say, that the city was called Be’er Sheva. However, subsequently, the Bris was broken when Avimelech’s people made trouble for Yitzchok. Yitzchok came and made a new Bris between them and was again Mefarseim the name בְּאֵר שֶׁבַע, עַד הַיּוֹם הַזֶּה.

This idea that a person can give a name to a city that already has a name brings to mind a Noide B’yehuda which Rebbi learned in Yeshiva now in Maseches Gittin. The Teshuva is in Even Ha’ezer and it is about a city in Poland named Piltz. They were writing a Get and the city was always spelled Pei, Yud, Lamed, Tes, Ende Tzaddik. A new Rav came to town and said this is an incorrect spelling because in Lashon Koidesh you can never have 3 Sh’va sounds one after the other. He spelled it without the Tes on 2 Gittin. Earlier there had already been Gittin with the Tes. People wrote the Noide B’yehuda asking if the new Rav was correct or not. This was one case where knowing too much Dikduk caused problems because the Noide B’yehuda wrote back that the original spelling was correct. It should have the Tes and the rules of Dikduk don’t apply to other languages. However, due to Kavod Harav the Noide B’yehuda asked that for the next 30 days they should be Machriz in every Shul in town and say that the city’s name is spelled without the Tes. Just like we can change a person’s name so to you can change the name of a city and with this Hachraza, he made that there wouldn’t be any Lav made on the Gittin. Of course the Chidush is that you can change the name of a city which we learn here from Yitzchok, that he called the city Be’er Sheva which happened to be the same name, however, with a different Tam. What we learn B’derech Mussar is the tremendous Kavod Hatalmid Chochom that the Noideh B’yehuda had.

Was Rivkah 3 or 14? - Toldos 5770

25:26 (בן ששים שנה: עשר שנים משנשאה עד שנעשית בת שלש עשרה שנה וראויה להריון ועשר שנים הללו צפה והמתין לה כמו שעשה אביו לשרה, כיון שלא נתעברה ידע שהיא עקרה והתפלל עליה. ושפחה לא רצה לישא, לפי שנתקדש בהר המוריה להיות עולה תמימה) Rashi brings the well known Chazal that Rivkah was 3 years old at the time she married Yitzchok. With that, Rashi makes a Cheshbon that until she was 13 she was not Ra’oi to have children, another 10 years they didn’t have children and then they were Mispallel. It is very difficult to understand, Rivkah got married at 3 years old, Lavan sent her with Eliezer, and Eliezer is asking her to fill up pitcher of water for camels. Tosafos argues and says in Maseches Yevamos 61: (וכן הוא אומר והנערה טובת מראה מאד. תימה דהכא משמע דרבקה נערה היתה ובסדר עולם (פ"א) תניא בהדיא שהיתה בת שלש כשנשאה יצחק ואי אפשר להגיה דהא תניא התם יצחק אבינו כשנעקד על גבי המזבח היה בן שבעה ושלשים שנה ובו בפרק נולדה רבקה וכתיב ויהי יצחק בן ארבעים שנה וגו' נמצאת שהיתה בת ג' וה"ר שמואל חסיד משפיר"א הוכיח שהיתה בת י"ד) that Rivkah was 14 years old.

To try to understand Rashi, Rav Schwab gives an insight that answers a Kasha that was asked in Parshas Vayeira. Rav Schwab says it is hard to understand that Rivkah was 3 years old. There is a concept of Ibur Neshamos. This means that one Neshama can have a Hashpa’a on another Neshama. We understand that concept when we name a child after someone. That idea is that somehow there is a connection between the 2 Neshamos. Rav Schwab suggests that physically Rivkah was 14 years old. What happened was at the end of Parshas Vayeira in 22:20 ( וַיְהִי, אַחֲרֵי הַדְּבָרִים הָאֵלֶּה, וַיֻּגַּד לְאַבְרָהָם, לֵאמֹר:  הִנֵּה יָלְדָה מִלְכָּה גַם-הִוא, בָּנִים--לְנָחוֹר אָחִיךָ) that at the time of the Akeidah and Sara being Niftar, Rivkah is born. The fact that Rivkah was born at this time, connected her Neshama to Sara’s Neshama.

We find when Rivkah is brought into Sara’s tent in 24:67 ( וַיְבִאֶהָ יִצְחָק, הָאֹהֱלָה שָׂרָה אִמּוֹ, וַיִּקַּח אֶת-רִבְקָה וַתְּהִי-לוֹ לְאִשָּׁה, וַיֶּאֱהָבֶהָ; וַיִּנָּחֵם יִצְחָק, אַחֲרֵי אִמּוֹ), meaning Yitzchok was then consoled for the loss of his mother. The reason why he was consoled is because Rivkah had the Ibur Neshamos. The new Rivkah with the Ibur Neshamos was now 3 years old. It fits well with what we understand that at a Bar Mitzvah a person has a Hashlomas Haneshoma. It fits well with the Tosafos that she was 14 because she had the Ibur Haneshoma at 11 before her Bas Mitzvah.

This idea would work well in making a sort of Pesharah between the 2 Shittos, physically she was 14 and the Ibur Neshama happened 3 years earlier. At the end of Parshas Vayeira we find in 22:20 that Avraham was worried after the Akeida that Yitzchok was not married and Rashi says that Avraham was told a Bisurah that Rivkah, Yitzchok’s  Zivug was born. If she was born then, what was the big thing that Avraham sent Eliezer to find someone, just send him to look for the girl who is 3 years old and is capable of getting married, there couldn’t havf been too many people who fit into this category?

According to Rav Schwab it is good. Avraham was told that there was someone who was ready; however, it wasn’t known how old the person was because of this idea of Ibur Neshama. So Mimeila Avraham sent Eliezer to find her.

Yitzchok finds out the Truth About Eisav - Toldos 5769

25:28  וַיֶּאֱהַב יִצְחָק אֶת-עֵשָׂו, כִּי-צַיִד בְּפִיו.  Rashi on the Posuk explains a Medrash (בפיו: כתרגומו בפיו של יצחק. ומדרשו בפיו של עשו שהיה צד אותו ומרמהו בדבריו) that with his “mouth” Eisav would entrap his father Yitzchok and trick him with words. How can it be that Yitzchok didn’t understand who Eisav was?

There is a Chazal on the Posuk in 27:1 that says, “וַתִּכְהֶיןָ עֵינָיו מֵרְאֹת” (Yitchok’s eyesight faded and he couldn’t see). This Chazal is found in Rashi on this Posuk in the Davar Acher, that “כדי שיטול יעקב את הברכות” (To enable Yaakov to receive the blessings.) In Poshut P’shat, Yaakov was only able to fool Yitzchok because he was blind. Perhaps on a deeper level, the whole incident that Yitzchok became blind was in order that Yaakov would receive the B’rachos. The B’rachos came about B’derech Mirmah in a way that B’Poiel it was a B’racha to Yaakov, however, B’kavanah, it was a B’racha to Eisav. For that reason L’doirois, Klal Yisroel has this type of a B’racha, where Kol Zman Klal Yisroel is B’Poiel doing the things they have to do, Hakodoish Boruch Hu deals with us B’Poiel. Conversely, Kol Zman Klal Yisroel Chas Vasholom doesn’t follow the correct path, so then Loi Aleinu, we are lacking the B’racha. The plan Min Hashomayim was that the B’racha should come in a certain way, and therefore, the entire episode happened, that Yitchok became blind. M’meila, Rav Pam would add, it was the along the same lines that made it a possibility that Yitchok couldn’t see Eisav for what he really was, and thought that Eisav was a Tzadik. This all happened so that Min Hashomayim the B’rachos could come about B’derech Mirmah.

What is beautiful about this, is that it answers what would have been an obvious problem. After Yaakov gets the B’rachos and he leaves, Eisav comes in. The Posuk says in 27:33, “וַיֶּחֱרַד יִצְחָק חֲרָדָה, גְּדֹלָה עַד-מְאֹד” (Yitchok was seized with a powerful trembling.) Why did Yitchok have this trembling?

Rashi explains on this Posuk, “ראה גיהנם פתוחה מתחתיו” (he saw Gehinnom open beneath him.) Eisav came into Yitchok many times, so why was it all of a sudden now that Yitchok saw Gehinnom enter with Eisav?

Loit what Rav Pam is saying, it is Moiradik M’duyik. All along, Eisav’s true nature was hidden from Yitchok so that the B’rachos could end up by Yaakov. V’ha Raya, the very first time that Eisav walks in after Yaakov had received the B’rachos, Yitzchok sees Gehinnom open underneath Eisav. This is one idea that Rav Pam used to mention very often.